Ladies. These are the 5 types of guys you will meet on campus

Apart from the usual killer gob3 joint, sadistic lecturers who derive pleasure from watching their students fail, and student leaders who don’t keep their campaign promises when elected, you are bound to see these six types of guys on campus.

Pick a university campus and you’ll be sure to find these guys. Some of them are relatively easy to spot. Others, you’ll have to look at a little more closely to determine which category they fit in, but they can’t fool us.

Here are the good, the bad and the guy your mom forgot to warn you about.

The Fuckboy

He is the biggest jerk you will ever meet. His body count is higher than his GPA. He is an eye candy. Every girl goes through the phase of wanting to be with the Fuckboy. He is a purveyor of heartbreaks. He has a girlfriend in every hostel on campus but he tells you they are his cousins. Not wanting to ruin his chances with your best friend when he’s done with you, he begs you not to put up that picture of you and him together because he hates the attention. He’s the kind of guy who takes shirtless mirror selfies and definitely Instagram’s them. His whole life revolves around one thing and one thing only: HIMSELF. Ladies, beware and stay away.

Mr. Nice Guy

Before the Fuckboy, there was Mr. Nice Guy. He’s the perfect gentleman. He’s kind, chivalrous, shy, good looking, smart, he’s most of the things you want in a guy. Mr. Nice Guy avoids eye contact, avoids dissension, hates confrontation. He will give up his seat for a lady in the shuttle. He’s a people pleaser. He wants to make everybody happy but yet lets everybody walk on him. He’s the ideal roommate (You won’t have a problem narrowing Mr. Nice Guy). Mr. Nice Guy is the guy who sabotages the SRC’s directive to halt payment of unapproved fees because “he doesn’t want trouble”. The guy who reminded the lecturer about the test you didn’t prepare for? That was Mr. Nice Guy. The ladies tell him he’s a great catch yet he dey gnash pass Gnashiru. He is an all round nice guy but there’s something missing, he lacks the “spark”. Mr. Nice Guy gives his all when he’s in a relationship. He is a heartbreak away from becoming a Fuckboy. Leave him be if his gentle soul can’t handle you, the world does not need another Fuckboy.

The ‘Christian’ Brother

He is affectionately called ‘Papa’ by his flock and Chrif or Ogyacious behind his back. He is very active in church activities, spends most of his time at choir rehearsals and evangelism. You don’t need a daily devotional when you have him as a friend, he will bombard you with a daily dose of the good news via WhatsApp every morning. Don’t be fooled, they are not always concerned about your salvation as they are in your body. Guys, if you ever find yourself vying for the attention of a girl with a Christian brother, forget it, the battle is not yours. You don’t have access to God’s direct line. The Brother in Christ has the advantage of clothing his personal feelings as the decrees of God.

The Guy in the Friend Zone

He is sweet, reliable and like a brother. He knows all of your secrets, listens intently to your problems, and supports all of your endeavors. You will complain about guy after guy to him, and he will diligently listen. You rely on him for the latest episodes of your favorite TV series. He lets you copy his homework. You call him your BFF but the truth is, he wants to be more than that. He is like the song in your music gallery that you always skip but will never delete (You get it now?). He is everything you want and more but you are too blind to see that. Next time you are wondering where all the nice guys are, I entreat you to check your friend zone.

The Mama’s Boy/Game Gbee

Can a man have a PlayStation, a mother, and a girlfriend at the same time? Date him to find out. You will never see this guy on campus during the weekends, he goes home to get his clothes washed and to bring food to face the new week. The extent of his culinary skills are limited to hitting buttons on a microwave. You invite him to party and what does he say? He would have to run it past his mother first. He is always the last guy to know that someone has a crush on him, dating is not his priority. You will spend most of the time dating him vying with his PlayStation and his mother for his attention. Stop stressing yourself because he won’t notice your new hairstyle, outfit, or any other subtle change. He’s too preoccupied with his PlayStation to notice what’s happening around him.