Guys. These are a few tips on how to better treat the Queens around you.

Pleasing a girl is an extreme sport. Ffrom your mother, to your girlfriend or best friend, you’ll be jumping through flaming hoops to get them satisfied. If you think I’m coming to sympathize with you boys here, then sorry, I am not. It is only an extreme sport because you lot are mostly absolutely clueless and the few who know keep sweeping all the trophies. Honestly, pleasing girls isn’t hard. It all stems from appreciating them in ways unique to each individual. A simple ‘thanks’ may suffice for most situations, but sometimes we need you to do a lil sumn sumn and some extra diswans:

LISTENING

I think one of the best ways is to genuinely See, when girls say they like guys who listen, it is no lie. It’s one of the best feelings to know that someone pays attention to the littlest details. Sometimes tell her you like the way she roasts her meat before adding it to her jollof, so it gets that smoky flavour, or do a little research on a topic she keeps mentioning and have a surprise discussion when she mentions it again. All our rants have a meaning you know. We always let it slip quite a lot of things we want you to know.

DOING

You’ll need to be doing more of the listening to be able to do this. Your mum consistently complains about things. Start doing. Help your siblings with homework without her having to ask. Wash her car for her. Start ironing your sister’s uniform or church clothes for her on vacation. They get tired too from school or work. You like to eat breakfast with your girl on Saturdays. Sometimes buy the bread, fry the eggs or wash up after while she does other things. Don’t let her do everything. Offer to buy a few groceries for your next-door girlfriends in the hostel when you go and buy your food at the market. At least you’ll feel a bit less guilty when you ask them to help you cook rice or borrow eggs and water.

COMPLIMENTING

This next one is the easiest and the most confused. Apart from seeing efforts being made, we also like to hear it being said. I want to hear that my new hair looks nice. Your friend wants to hear that she’s doing great with her business. Your mother wants to hear that you appreciate how she turned up for every visiting back in high school and how she sends you extra cash. However, phrasing your compliment is as important. Girls don’t want to hear “you’re good at FIFA for a girl” or “I like how you can make soup, unlike others” because “for a girl” or “unlike others“, just sort of downplays the compliment. Make your compliment honest and avoid being patronizing, sexist or comparative.

Overall, these three tips. Hear, Do and Say, are the best I can leave you boys with. They are the most basic and universal tips that work. Play around with them and experience their magic at work. Also, listen to and study your girls. Like I said, we are all different.

Eventually, you’ll discover even more ways of rephrasing and repackaging your thank yous.

This article was written by A.A Sarpong. Read more from her through her personal blog here aasarpong.wordpress.com